Erratic sees herself
as a simple person.
The verity of the view
is highly debatable.

She's a professional junkie.
She gets easily addicted
to anything,
with the current being addicted
to not smoking.

She's a mixture of (almost) every
minority groups in the world,
and she tries (too) hard to be
an outcast.

She keeps on changing her
mind (luckily not her personality),
so it's quite useless
to describe her.


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Tracks of 2005

0124-Meet the Fockers
0122-Far From Heaven
0121-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
0110-The Grudge
0102-He's A Woman, She's A Man
0101-Korean Short Animation


0127-Riot on an Empty Street
0118-Love. Angel. Music. Baby

Also by erratic...
100 words short stories

Meet who I meet
a cat's life
absolut badalu
jaja NEW!
rambling rose

Faceless Blogs
anita roddick
are you awake
dave barry
drew's blog-o-rama
elegant webscapes
eliot wilder
hip to you
jeremy goldkorn (danwei)
kitchen cabinet
leslie katz
little minx
michael moore
mighty geek
movie marketing
new left
one twisted bloke
philip dhingra manifest
philip greenspun
rich hall (moby)
sayap imaji
stolen kisses
the dulest blog
the storyteller
wil wheaton

To Keep 'Em Coming
daily word game
fiction addiction
look it up
imagination generator
michelle's daily dose
one caption
one word
prompts 2
prompt generator
the other generator
this is true
writesparks free download

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the dreaming

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Friday, December 31, 2004
Let's just be honest here

Let's just be honest here.
Forget puns, jokes, anecdotes,
or whatever type of wordplay we like to use.
Ignore all those semiotic analysis,
because they've become blasť anyway.
Empty your pockets and
put everything on the table,
so everybody could see them clearly.

People who really know me
would tell you I'm an open book.
Sometimes, they would say, I'm too "readable"
for my own good.
There's no hidden mystery about me.
All my actions are always straightforward,
and are always based on what I want.

Some people can't believe it, I know.
They're too accustomed to think
everything has hidden plots,
everybody has hidden motives.
Don't ask me why they see what they see
or think what they think.
I wouldn't know.
Perhaps (this is my guess only)
their life is too boring,
that they need to create
all these twisted scenarios
in their little heads.

To these kinds of people,
all we could do is ignore them.
For nothing we'll say
will be understood by them anyway.

People who are still reading this,
are probably not one of them.

You who are still reading this.
I believe you.
I believe you're not one of them.

Apathy and pessimism aside, let's start to talk.
Honestly. Openly.

I just don't get it.
How come such a simple case
like how we should celebrate New Year
becomes so important this year?

Yes, I know this tsunami is the biggest
since forty years ago.
Yes, I know this time it happened
right in front of our door step.
And yes, I know, that if a natural disaster
of this magnitude happened
a few decades ago, it would cause
the vanishing of a whole civilization.

Yes, it's that big.
It's that important.

And since that tragedy, I've seen nothing
but the resurgence of people trying to show
good faith.
You couldn't drive anywhere without
being stopped every 1 kilometer
by people who pushes their donation boxes
on your face.
Everyone seems to make their own crisis center.
From universities, medias, interest groups,
even an organization
notorious for their vandalism acts
has their own crisis center.

Because every tragedy has their own comic side.

do we actually need so many crisis center?
Some people said: yes.
Because (this is what they say)...
no matter how many centers we build to
remind people of this catastrophe,
there are still so many
who would party their asses away
on New Year's eve.
Such nerve
, they said.
To have a good time in this time of bereavement.
What an attitude!
How inhuman!

Although, if I may add,
many analysts have stated
Aceh and other regions that suffered from the tsunami
would need ten years to recover.

Ten years.

Would people still donate money as anxiously
for the next ten years?
Would we?
Would you?

Would all the crisis centers still existed?
Should we stop any kind of celebrations
for the next ten years?

I don't think the answers to those questions are: yes.
It's just the way with people in this country.
It's just the way with us.

We don't have helping spirits here,
we have helping euphorias.
Everything we do at times of crisis
are always momentary.
It has a pseudo feeling about it.

We are people with a severe case of amnesia.
We forget things quickly.
We bounce back faster than we read
the whole description of bouncing back
in our dictionaries or encyclopedias.

What we need is just a bit of honesty.
What we need is people to stop making excuses.

For people who are struck by the
helping euphoria, be honest to me.
Why are you doing this?
Because it's trendy?
Because it's what everybody should do?
Because your conscience said so?
Because you couldn't stand being called
inhuman if you didn't do it?

Please do me a favour and tell me
the real reasons for your actions.
Please don't come to me yelling your
"In the name of humanity...!" scam,
since the meaning of "being human"
has been lost to me some time ago.

For people who still party on New Year's eve
and thus give away the impression that
they don't give a damn about this whole thing,
answer me openly.
Do you really have the superhuman ability
to separate yourself from the outside world?
Wow. I mean... WOW!
How did you do that?
It's just so... out of this world!

As for myself,
I would go there and volunteer myself as anything,
if I hadn't been too scared to face those eyes.
The survivors' eyes that reflect the faces
of their deceased loved ones.
I even don't have enough strength
to see their faces in the TV news.
I'm sorry, but it's just me.
I can't take it.
I'm simply too scared.

But I've canceled my New Year's trip
and decided to just stay at home this New year's eve,
so I could donate the money I've budgeted for the trip.
I did it because I don't have much money.
My bank account hasn't had its healthy bulge
for several months now.
I can't afford going through with the trip
or party myself away and still donate.
It's the least I can do.

That's my truth.
That's my honesty.
what's yours?

Happy New Year, everyone!

Erratic chanted @ 09:52 pm
(2) people have chanted  

Tuesday, December 14, 2004
A (pointless) Revelation

I just realized,
that if someone gives me an option
between a dish that I could eat with chopsticks
and one that I couldn't,
I would always choose the dish
I could eat with chopsticks.

Erratic chanted @ 03:18 pm
chant along with me!  

Sunday, December 05, 2004
Let's not argue on this

When asked by an audience
after the screening of her film,

"After making this film,
what is your view on the human condition?"

Ramona S. Diaz answered,

"If I could understand the human condition,
I'd stop making films."

I couldn't agree more.

Erratic chanted @ 07:13 pm
chant along with me!  

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

My colleagues often asked me
why I'm always late.

I would wake up at 09:30,
take a shower etc. etc.,
and leave for office at 10:30.
I would arrive at the office
at eleven a.m.,
two hours after
the official office hours starts.

And this is why.

If I wake up at seven,
and leave for office at eight
(so I could reach it at nine),
this is what I will have to face.
(I know this for sure,
because I've experienced it
a couple of times)

This is a bird's eye view
of one of the most impossible
intersection in Jakarta,
every morning from 7 till around 10.

See the red spot?
That's my car.
See how the cars
blocked each others?

Drivers in Jakarta have a special talent
for not noticing the traffic light.
Not to mention how bus conductors
would always try to stop
every other moving cars
to make way for their own bus.
Even when their bus is still
a few yards away.
Hence why this happen.

Usually, I would stay in that position
for about thirty minutes,
while gradually change position to:


I'd stay in that position for...
ten to fifteen minutes,
before I would finally reach:

that position.

This is the most
frustating position of all.
Remember the bus conductors?
When you're in THIS particular position,
it's likely for you to have one
(bus conductor)
standing in front of your car,
signalling you to stop.
The only way to get round them
is to run them over.
But you wouldn't want to be charged
with homicide, right?

Now you could only wait.
Wait until two chances happen.
Only two.

is when suddenly, like a miracle,
there are no more bus conductors
around you.

is when you have a bus conductor
on your side.
That only happens when you have a bus
in the same lane with you.

The last time I was in this position,
I was stuck for more than half hour,
before I decided to either do:

1. turn off my car, and just wait
    until everything clears up

2. start blowing my horn
    until they couldn't take it anymore
    and make way for me.

I decided to do the second option.

I blowed the horn.
People started to get out of their cars,
yelling at me,
but I didn't budge.
I kept at it.
I was being my stubborn self.

Finally, thay started to
arrange things around,
so I could go in peace.

Oh, and this particular incident
happened to me
this morning.

Erratic chanted @ 02:06 pm
(2) people have chanted  

Saturday, October 23, 2004
Strange Measures

We measure things strangely here.
Because here,
we see beer as
more dangerous
than wine.

Believe me,
it's true.
And I have
more than one proof
to back this up.

When I was preparing
my wedding party,
I had difficulty in finding
this one place that has
reasonable prices,
are vacant on my preferred party date,
and would allow me to serve wine.

It was really hard to find one venue
that matched all those categories.

When I finally found one
that has reasonable prices
AND was still vacant on my preferred date,
the manager quickly answered: 'NO'
when I asked him whether
they would allow me to serve alcohol.

I was near desperate,
because the deadline
for the invitation is getting closer.

The next day,
I asked a friend of mine
to help me persuade the venue.
He made one simple phone call,
and he got the permission!
I was so amazed
at my friend's negotiation skills,
until I heard what happened.

Apparently, he didn't ask the manager
whether I may serve alcohol.
Instead, he asked whether I could serve

"Sure!" said the manager.
"If you're serving beer,
that would be out of the question!"

Another proof.

Last Thursday, I went to Citos.
I walked by Der Platz,
a beer house.
And it was closed
due to the fasting month.
But when I walked by Connoisseur,
a wine house,
they were allowed to be open.

Another proof.

Last night,
people who claimed themselves
as Front Pembela Islam
(Defender of Islam)
rallied through Kemang
to crash into cafes and bars
to force them to close down
during the fasting month.

(For you living outside of Indonesia,
don't be shocked.
This has happened before.
We're used to this.
We're annoyed, yes.
But we're used to this.)

What they did was:
they stormed into bars,
crashed all the beer bottles,
but leave the liquor bottles alone.


I admit it.
They didn't leave the liquor bottle.
They took them away.
For them to drink later on.
And the Defender of Islam
only trashed bars and cafes
who refused to pay their
"security money".

So that last one
was not a very good proof anyway.
But you get the idea.

PS: I'm still pissed at myself
for not being able
to take pictures
of the defenders' act of stupidity.

Erratic chanted @ 01:15 am
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Saturday, October 16, 2004
Stop theorising and just do it, dammit!

Why do people love to make theories?
Why should everything
has an explanation?
Has a step-by-step guide?
Be put in a system?

We love to theorise about everything,
so much,
up to a point
everything becomes ridiculous.

Do you know
that there's even a theory
on how you could come up
with your own
porn-star name?

you should use
your first pet's name
as your first name,
and the name of the street
where you live
as your last name.

The only problem
with the theory is
my porn-star name
would be:
Dogi Asem
(a.k.a. Sour Dog).

One more proof
why you should just
live your life
they way you wanted,
and stop explaining yourself.

Erratic chanted @ 11:29 pm
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Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Kinky. Klaus Kinky.

Inbetweener gave me
one of the most absurd film
I have ever encountered.

The title of the film:
Fruits of Passion
(Les Fruits de la Passion)

The film has:
a japanese director,
a german main actor,
a story set in China,
and the spoken language is French.

To make it even more weird,
the main part goes to:
*drum roll*

Can you imagine
sitting through a film,
seeing this guy:


having orgasms?

I even theorised,
he got the part
without having to go through
the casting process.
The director simply heard
his name, and mistook it
(remember, the director IS Japanese).

Don't get me wrong.
I like Klaus.
I think he's a great actor.
But how could a dracula
get main role in a porn?

Unfortunately (or luckily?)
the disc of the film is broken,
so I only get to watch
half of the film,
and be exposed to the sight of
Klaus Kinski's orgasms


Erratic chanted @ 11:01 pm
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